Virginia Grows On You
by Dani-of-Insomnia
Summary: Ever wonder what would have happened if Max and the flock had stayed in Virginia? Well, I do. And I thought it was high time I put it on paper. Or, you know, on a file on a computer... Enjoy! Fax, eventually.
1. Rapists suck Satan

So what do you think would have happened if the flock stayed a little while longer in Virginia? This is kinda what I always thought about and I thought it was high time I put it on paper. Or, you know, in a file on a computer….

So enjoy!

Disclaimer: I am a teenage girl. Not a middle-aged man. Therefore, I do not own Maximum Ride. Unfortunately.

Info: This is after Max's date with Sam, little bit before the Iggy-finding-his-parents incident.

* * *

Max's POV

I weaved my way through tables, seeing J.J. a little bit farther off. I realized before I sat down the excited look on her face. Uh-oh.

"Hey, Max," a happy smile lit up her face as I cautiously sat down.

"What's up? Why so excited?" I said.

"Dani, Ash, Night, and Jay are coming back!"

"Who?"

"Oh, I haven't told you about them, have I? Well, they've been gone. Their mom's a wildlife photographer and they've been somewhere in Mexico, taking shots for some hot-shot magazine like National Geographic. But, tomorrow they're coming back! I can't wait for you to meet them, I think you'll like them."

"Uh, if you say so."

"Trust me, you will. Their really cool. Unless they don't like you. That would suck. For you."

"Uh, okay."

"But there's no reason for them not to like you, so it's all good. Are you gonna eat your apple?"

"Yep."

"Dang."

* * *

When I sat down at lunch the next day, it was only J.J. sitting at the table.

"Didn't you say there was going to be some new kids or something yesterday?" I felt obliged to ask.

"Yeah, they're in the office picking up some make-up work and other slighty-depressing-yet-critical-to-your-educational-future things of that sort. They'll be here in a couple minutes."

Sure enough, about 10 minutes later, I looked up to see a girl and two boys headed for our table. The girl had a dark skin-tone, brunette hair, and bright green eyes that were wide and curious. She kinda reminded me of a kitten, actually. Adorable in an irrestistable way and yet scarily mischievous. One of the boys was African-American, and the other was white and had blonde hair with brown eyes.

"Hey JJ!" The girl said as she took her seat.

"Dani! Your back!"

"Well, nice to see you, too, JJ," one of the boys said, the white one.

"Sorry guys. Nice to see you, Jay. You too, Night," the one who spoke smiled, while the African-American only nodded.

"Where's Ash?" JJ asked.

The girl, Dani?, smiled, showing off a row of white teeth. "When we got there, Jay and Night had their shirts untucked, I was wearing jeans under my skirt, and Ash kept popping her gum over and over just to piss PMSing-Pruitt off. So we had to sit pretty while he told us how insignificant, disrespectful, and stupid we are and how we will grow up and amount to nothing if we don't stop our foolish behavior. After he was finished making a laughing stock of himself, he asked us if we understood. Ash, apparently, had an overwhelming urge to tell him that no, she did not understand, she was too busy wondering how many episodes of 'Gay Eye For The Straight Guy' it would take to wack that unibrow off his face and get him a wardrobe that doesn't make her immediately think the words 'Ello, Governa'. She then asked him to _say_ 'Ello, Govna' because apparently it is her life-long dream to actually hear a British person say that in their awesome accent. While on this topic, she let him know that he is a disgrace to all British accents, seeing as he can't control that anger management problem of his, and he can't even say a simple sentence without turning into a human sprinkler. She is currently in the office, happy as can be and will be with us shortly."

"Did she really say that?" JJ seemed amazed. Hell, I was amazed. I wish I could say that to him and not have any consequences. But unfortunately, I'm me. And me just can't seem to get a break.

Dani nodded. "And more. I swear she is the only person who can say something like that and get away almost scot-free. Maybe her evilness gives her powers of persuasion."

"Her evilness?" I asked. Oh, great. Here we go again with the evil people.

Dani laughed. "Yeah. She's not as innocent as she looks."

"I think she might possibly be possessed," the guy, Jay, I think, said.

"Oh, definately. She makes Emily Rose look like a Tele-tubby," Dani agreed.

"Next thing you know, she's gonna be turning her head all the way around."

"She would happily push a priest down the stairs."

"No, she would hire someone to sniper the priest as he was about to go down the stairs."

"I stand corrected. It really is sad. Our poor girl has gone and lost her innocence."

"Woah, woah, woah. Hold up. When did she lose her innocence?"

"Satan forcefully entered her body when he clearly wasn't wanted. It's practically the definition of rape."

"Oh my God, our poor little girl got raped by Satan."

"All rapists are Satan."

"Good point."

"What about rapists and Satan?" everyone seemed to jump at the calm voice behind Dani's head.

"Ash! How was your reprimand?"

The girl that had walked up looked about as unemotional as Fang. She had pitch black hair, black eyes, and an olive skin-tone. Now that I thought about it, she actually looked like Fang. The curve of their lips, the shape of their eyes. . . .

"Same old, same old. Now, back to the rapists and Satan." Yes, like we wanted to get back on _that _topic.

"Rapists suck Satan." Dani answered her.

"That made no sense, whatsoever."

"Neither do sporks."

"I'm still failing to see what your point is."

"You should have been listening."

"I was listening. I heard you say that rapists suck Satan very clearly."

"Then what's the problem?"

"That it would make any English professor want to shoot you."

"And?"

Ash sighed. "Your hopeless."

"And yet I only take that half-offensively."

"Of course you do."

JJ spoke up as soon as she sat down. "Okay, now that you're all here, I'm guessing your wondering who this is," she gestured to me. Funny, I was wondering who the hell _they_ were.

"I didn't really notice her," Ash said.

"Well," said JJ, obviously annoyed by that answer. "This is, well, I'm gonna let them introduce themselves first, seeing as you probaly don't know who they are." A much more satisfying answer.

"Hi, I'm Dani, and I like to eat apples really loud when Ash is in the room because she hates that."

"HI, DANI," Everyone chorused together.

"FUCK YOU, DANI," said the one-who-hates-loud-apples.

"Hi, I'm Jay, short for Jay, and I eat cake with a spoon. It bugs the hell outta Ash."

"HI, JAY."

"FUCK YOU, JAY." You can guess who said that.

"Hi, I'm Night, and I like to sing off-pitch to songs because it pisses Ash off."

"HI, NIGHT."

"FUCK YOU, NIGHT."

"Hi, I'm Ash, and I like to randomly hit my family because _they piss me off_."

"HI, ASH."

"Grrr."

"Max, your turn," JJ turned to me.

"Um, hi, I'm Max, and I have a feeling something I do at some point in time will piss off Ash."

"HI, MAX," said Jay and Night. Dani was laughing and Ash was glaring at her.

"Haha, I like you," Dani said to me.

"Um, thanks?"

"Do you guys seriously do all those things purposely just to piss me off?" Ash asked.

"Yeah, that's the funny part," Dani replied.

"Why?"

"Because it's hilarious."

"_Bitch._"

* * *

So, I have to ask you to Review. I'm kinda obliged.

R&R?

(p.s. rapists suck Satan)


	2. Stupid Poisoned Apple

Thanks for the reviews! Seriously, I appreciate it. And not ONE FLAME! I was expecting at least one, and I didn't get any! That just made me giddy.

To the anonymus person: Yes, that was intentional.

I wasn't planning on updating this fast, but it's snowing where I live. And I mean it's coming down _hard_.

My friends totally just went 'That's what she said!!!!' when they read that last sentence.

Anyways, the clouds are being mofos and thought it would be funny to freeze up and ruin everyones plans by snowing us in and all. The good news, I probaly won't have school tomorrow.

You know what I find funny? When someone puts 'I suck at summaries' into their summary. I mean, if you really do suck at summaries, we can probaly tell.

I really just don't know where I'm going with this chapter. Going in blind, so to speak...

* * *

We were about five minutes into our walk back to Anne's (notice I didn't say 'back home') when my back went stiff and the hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up. I kept walking, trying to tune out Nudge talking about . . .something and tried to focus on the noise behind me. My mind went through ways to lose a person on this road if somebody were following us. Fang noticed my unease and stayed alert too. Someone was 20-30 yards behind us.

I heard what sounded like the crunch of an apple, and then they started talking.

"Now that I know you eat them loudly just for me, you can stop it."

"But it's like a habit know."

Ash sighed, "Of course it is. That doesn't mean you can't stop when I point it out."

"Watch out, Dani, she might hire someone to sniper you while your going down the stairs," Jay warned.

I could barely hear Ash's confused "Huh?" over Dani's laughter.

"Who are these people?" Fang muttered beside me.

"Dani, where did you get that apple anyways?" Ash asked after Dani quieted down.

. . .Silence. . .

. . .Silence. . .

"Aww, come on, Ash! Why'd you have to bring that up? I have no idea _where_ I got the damn apple, all I know is it's delicious and I was enjoying it. Now that I know I don't know where I got it, I know it could be poisoned. If I didn't know it was possibly poisoned, I could have died blissfully unaware and happy because I was eating my scrumptious, contaminated apple and pissing you off while doing it. Now I gotta waste half of possibly the world's 59th most perfect apple. You're such a party-pooper."

"You're right. It's all my fault," Ash said. Her sarcasm practically ran me over.

"Hey, is that Max up there?" Dani said. Crap, they noticed us.

I heard the sound of jogging feet and then Dani was right beside me. Night, Jay, and Ash were just kinda tagging along. Still walking, but a little faster.

Fang's eyebrows rose like, an inch when he looked at me like, "You know these people?"

Dani smiled, "Hey, Max!" Her smile wavered into a kind of confused politeness when she looked around and saw who I was walking with.

"Um, this is my family. Nick, Jeff, Krystal, Zephyr, and Ariel."

Her smile returned. "Oh, hi! I'm Dani. And that's Jay, Night, and Ash." She said, pointing to the now-caught-up people.

Now that I got to see them together and compare them, Ash and Fang really did look a lot alike. The resemblence was uncanny.

However, I only got to compare them for a second, because when Jay and Night stopped, Ash kept right on going. She would have walked right past us, except Dani deliberately stuck out her foot and tripped her. Ash stumbled, but there was something weird about her movements. Like, she didn't _have_ to trip, but why she would fake it was a mystery to me. I glanced at Fang. He had noticed it, too.

Ash went to keep walking, but Dani kept tripping her. And again with the intentional movements. I mean, the flock like to trip eachother as a joke so I know what someone looks like when they trip. There was just something . . .not right about it.

"Would you quit tripping me!" Ash finally burst out. "I wanna get home. I'm hungry, I wanna get out of this stupid uniform, and I gotta pee."

Jay went over to the bushes, unzipped, and started to pee in the woods. Facing away from us, of course. Dani was laughing, and Ash looked ready to kill somebody. When he was done, he said "Ahhhhhhhhh" and then walked over to us, smirking at Ash the whole way.

"Say the magic word," Dani practically sang.

Ash rolled her eyes. "Please," she said through clenched teeth.

"Nope."

"What? Please is the magic word! Please is always the magic word!"

"Oh, come on. Please is not the magic word. You ever heard of a mythical creature named a _please_? The magical town of _Please_? Please is not a _magic word._"

"I still don't see how this helps the urine exit my bladder."

"And that, my friends, is what we call a WTF face," Jay said, pointing to Ash.

"Abracadabra," Ash said.

"Who do you think I am, Houdini?" Dani responded.

"It's Leprechaun," Night said. Wow, that was the first time I'd heard him talk.

"What?" Ash asked.

"It's Leprechaun. She wouldn't let me into the fridge yesterday for an hour. I had to run through all the mythical creatures I knew."

"Leprechaun," Ash said to Dani.

Dani turned to Night. "Night! Do you know how long I could have kept that up! We might have gotten to see her pee herself!"

"You kept me out of the fridge for an hour. That's a no-no."

"Bye," Ash said, then turned away.

"Wait! Ash, you little faggot, get back here!" Dani yelled.

Jay turned to us, "Guess we'll be going. Gotta go make sure the girls don't kill eachother and Ash doesn't piss all over Dani while doing so. See ya." Him and Night started to walk away.

Fang looked at me.

"You have really weird friends," he said.

And we started on our way to Anne's again.

You would not believe what was waiting for me there. Well, this is my life, so maybe you would. But it still sucked.

* * *

Ohhhhhhh, cliffy. I'll update soon. You, know as soon as I figure out what was waiting back at Anne's . . . It was short, I know and apologize.

And I don't know if you read my A/N at the beginning of the chapter, but writing the word giddy made me think of the word giddy. If that makes any sense. Giddy is like my, what, 6th favorite word? I use it constantly. So I thought, what's the dictionary definition of giddy?

Now, I have 3 dictionaries in my house. The first 2, giddy wasn't even in them! I was like WTF!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I almost didn't look in the 3rd one. But I did. And it was in there!!!!!! Third time is the charm!! I shall now give you the definition of giddy.

giddy (gid-ee) _adjective_: If you feel giddy, you feel dizzy and unsteady, either because you are ill or because you are excited,giddier, giddiest _noun _giddiness _adverb_ giddily

The only thing that bothered me, was the fact that over half the other definitions in the dictionary I was using had sentence examples. Like gift, which was right under it. _Vincent has a gift for painting._ My first thought was, 'How much you wanna bet this Vincent guy is gay?' but my second one was, 'Why the Fnick do they not have one for giddy?!'

So, I took the liberty of making one for you.

_Vincent **giddily** enjoyed his hotdog_.

. . . Hehe.

I looked back on that sentence and considered making it less perverted, like _Vincent **giddily** enjoyed painting,_ or maybe I could rest my case about this guy being gay and say_ Vincent **giddily** enjoyed watching the opera in his pink button-down shirt with the most adorable man-purse as the perfect accessory, which perfectly accented his impossibly tan skin and dark, Nick Jonas style hair cut. _Then I was like . . . "Pshh, nah. It's perfect."

And that is my fun-fact for the day. So you do learn something from me.

FYI:I have nothing against homosexuals. Two of my best friends are gay. And, just because you have a gift for painting does not mean I think your gay. It was the name Vincent and painting together that tipped me off.

So, R&R!

Come back next time!

Stay tuned!

Keep in touch!

Don't be a stranger!

Ta-ta!

Bonjour!


	3. Breaking and Entering MIA

I, Dani-of-Insomnia, have a transporting pen in my possession.

Dun, dun, _duuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh_.

So, I was writing this chapter in my notebook, and I dropped my pen. Now, this is a very distinct looking pen. It's orange, has a jiggly thing at the end of it that jiggles when you write, and parts of it are fuzzy.

It's one bad-ass pen.

When I dropped it I spent, and I kept track, at least 15 minutes looking for it. FIFTEEN FNICKIN MINUTES!!!! I was in the kitchen when I dropped it, and when I gave up I walked in the livingroom.

You can go ahead and picture a depressing rain cloud over my head.

I looked up, and there my mom was, doing a crossword with my awesome pen.

Me: Where'd you get that?

Mom: I just picked it up off the floor like 2 minutes ago.

Me: Which floor?

Mom: The floor...

Me: But which floor?

Mom: The floor right next to me!

Me: Holy crap give me that! **(hehe that rhymed)**

Mom: No, I'm doing my crossword with that!

Needless to say, I eventually got my transporting pen from my overly stubborn mother. But, I need to make sure I never drop my pen again, cause apparently it acts out when mishandled. Now on to my reviewers. . .

Favorite Review Yet: **Bethflower**-----**apple crunching does bother me to! I mean it's like so effin' annoying! Like, say, you're walking, all totally friggin' blissed out, and some mofo comes up to you crunching on the damn fruit and even possibly leavin' spit on it.  
But anyway... the chapter rocked my currently-not-on-me socks off. Keep writing this bangin' story, you should totally put a little bit of Sam in there to just brew up some of the premature Fax sequences, maybe even lissa.**

I was planning to, just so you know. And I think apple crunching bothers half the worlds population. Sam and Lissa will definately be in this chapter, though. The first 2 chapters I just wanted everyone to get a feel for my OC's, they're an important part of my story  
(_hint hint_). And Tootles is one of the cliche goodbyes I forgot in my last A/N!

**UNDERLANDERfromtheOVERLAND** **_(how the hell did you come up with that?)_**: Thanks for reviewing, glad you like it. And I thought it meant that too. . . I was so disappointed. But, thanks for keepin faithful!

**AndThenItBegan**: I love your dinasour! Ok that was random, but your profile pic dinosaur is so cute! Does it have a name?

And to all the others who reviewed the first chapter that I didn't get to thanking, I want to virtually hug you. Your awesome.

I was going to have you guys vote on something to happen. . . Just something I'd been thinking about. But I can't really have you vote without explaining it. . . and that would give it away. So, I'll think about having you guys vote.

This was a long A/N. Maybe even longer than the one on the end of my last chapter. But, ON WITH THE STORY!!!!

* * *

So, when I came home, everything was normal. At first. We walked in the house, apparently Anne was still at work. The kids and Iggy went into the kitchen for something to eat. Those normal-sized lunches really get to us sometimes.

Fang and I started upstairs to change out of our uniforms. Half-way up the stairs and I already knew something was wrong. Something was just. . .off.

We reached the top of the stairs and I knew something was wrong. Our doors were closed. I never close my door when I leave for school. Only when I'm changing or just want to be alone. The same for the rest of the flock.

Fang and I just glanced at eachother and ran back downstairs to the flock. They were still in the kitchen completely unaware, giddily eating their snacks.

"Guys, be on guard," I said in a whisper. They all stopped for a second, barely nodded, and kept going on acting like nothing happened. Only now Gazzy's fists were clenched and ready, Nudge's back was stiff, Angel's smile was fake, and Iggy was trying to focus more on his surroundings.

Fang and I crept stealthily back upstairs. It was quiet. Too quiet. I went to my door and put my ear against it. Nothing. I opened it just a crack and peeked inside.

You've got to be kidding me.

My room was a_ wreck_. Someone completely _trashed it_. My mattress was thrown to the other side of the room, the drawers were taken out of my dresser and strewn around the room, half my closet was lying on the floor, and everything was just a complete_ mess_.

I turned around and looked at where Fang was looking in his room. His was trashed, too.

I figured no one would be stupid enough to hang around after doing something like this, so I walked into my room. Geez, this was going to take forever to clean up.

My window was wide open and there was a slight breeze coming through, adding a certain personal touch that this whole scene had been lacking. I ran over to it and looked outside. There was an almost invisible flick in the woods before everything was calm. But I saw it.

I heard the flock slowly coming up the stairs. I walked out of my room to meet them.

"Check to see if anythings missing," I adviced them. I went back to my room to do exactly that.

Turns out, our backpacks we use when were on the run were taken. Also, the papers with the numerical code that we just couldn't seem to crack had disappeared. Which, to me, didn't seem like such a big loss. I mean, we couldn't crack them anyways, could we?

But someone was definitely trying to delay us leaving. Why take our backpacks? Now we have to get new ones, and I don't know how suspicious Anne would be if we asked her to buy us some. Plus, we'd taken too much from her already. I could take care of my flock without her buying everything for us.

We all met up in the hallway.

"Clean your room before Anne gets home. Clearly, this was marked at only us, seeing as only our rooms were targeted and they didn't take anything of actual _value_. No need to get Anne mixed up in this. Plus, she knows too much about us already," I told them. They all went to their rooms to start. I turned to Fang.

"Ari?" I guessed.

"Maybe. But they took our backpacks, so they don't want us leaving soon. Wouldn't Ari want us away from Anne's so he could attack us easier? If it wasn't Ari, it was definitely someone who knows about us."

"So if it was Ari, he must know something we don't. He doesn't want us leaving because there's something coming that we don't know about."

"Exactly."

We got our rooms clean just in the nick of time. Anne walked through the door just as we settled into the livingroom, acting like nothing happened.

* * *

I had already gotten my hot, steaming shower that night when I went to go brush my teeth. Plus, when I got out of the shower, I didn't see Eraser Max in the mirror. Except for the fact that I had gotten robbed, this was a pretty good day.

I had put the toothpaste on my toothbrush and everything when I looked up into the mirror.

There she, it, was.

Holding the toothbrush in her hairy, oversized claws in mid-air just like me. I looked down at my hand. It was smooth, soft, but in the mirror it was a big eraser hand. My mouth dropped open a little bit, and so did hers. But in hers I saw big, huge canines. I touched my teeth, and it pawed at it's muzzle.

It was wrong. Twisted. Sick. I was _not_ one of them. I never would be. It was just _wrong_.

I had made a mistake. When I came in to brush my teeth, I had left the door open just a crack. And guess who walked in.

Fang. _Of course_.

He looked at my face and how I kept glancing back at the mirror, hoping he didn't see it.

"Max, what's wrong?" _Everything_.

"You don't see her?" I asked.

"See who?"

"_Her_." How could he not see her?

"Who's her?"

"Her, she, it. That _thing _in the mirror."

He stepped cautiously towards me and looked in the mirror.

"Max, it's just your reflection." He didn't see it. Thank God.

"Oh," I choked out. Geez, he was probaly ready to send me to the koo-koo farm.

He took my face in both his hands, his perfectly _normal_ and un-eraser-like hands, and looked me in the eyes. His hands were really hot against my skin and I noticed I must not have an ounce of color in my face.

"Are you okay?" He asked me, all seriousness.

"Since when have I ever been okay?" His mouth didn't even twitch. He must be genuinely worried about me.

"Max," ohhhhh, the warning tone.

"I'm fine," I lied and tried to muster up something that at least resembled a smile. "Can you leave me to brush my teeth in peace now, please?"

He hesitated for a couple seconds, then let go of my face and slowly walked out of the bathroom, his eyes on me the whole time.

I sighed and slowly turned back around to look in the mirror.

She was gone. Just paranoid, insane, white-as-a-ghost Max left behind.

I didn't get much sleep that night. I considered going out for a flight, but had a weird feeling like something was waiting for me. I figure I got around 2, 3 minutes of sleep.

* * *

We were waiting for her. From our resources we know she usually comes out for midnight flights. We had our cameras zoomed in on her, and she wasn't asleep. So why wasn't she coming out?

I heard static then my walkie-talkie came to life.

"Unit 3, we have a visual on the girl. She just got up to get a drink of water. Is now proceeding to go back to bed. Doesn't look like she's coming out tonight."

I looked at my watch. 2:37. I don't care if it didn't _look_ like she was coming out. She's very unpredictable.

My second-in-command walked up.

"Should we pack up, sir?"

"No, keep watch all night. She may change her mind," I answered.

Even if she didn't come out tonight, we still have tomorrow night, and the night after that. She has to come out eventually.

You can only keep a bird in their cage for so long.

* * *

The next day went as usual. I had some classes in the morning with Dani and Night. Sam sat with us at lunch. Dani, Ash, Night, and Jay know him pretty well, apparently Jay and Night are two of his best friends.

Everything was going good. The 4 new kids, their last names were Dani Burke, Ash (short for Ashton) Davis, Night (his real names Marki, Night's his nickname) Dixon, and Jay Miller were really cool. They definitely knew how to make someone laugh, that's for sure. Their mom was a wildlife photographer, and when she realized she couldn't have kids, she just went around adopting poor, homeless children where ever she went, as Ash put it.

I really like Sam, he sat right next to me at lunch. When Dani and Ash were arguing about who was more of a creeper, Barney or that gay guy named Vincent they met on their way to school that day, me and Sam talked about the headhunter, or PMSing-Pruitt as Dani called him. Sam said that Pruitt had only been the headmaster for about a year.

We had just joined into Dani and Ash's discussion and were hearing about how Jay had dared Night to flirt with some gay guy named Vincent they had met on their way to school when that girl, Lissa, walked up.

"Hey, it's Max, right?" She said.

"Yeah_," please, not this again_.

"Hi, I was wondering why Nick wasn't in school today. Is he sick?"

My heart skipped a beat.

"He's not in school?" _Oh, please let it be some mistake, that she just hasn't seen him. . . ._

"Yeah, I looked all over for him. I asked and my friend said she saw him at the beginning of school, but I haven't seen him. Did he get sent home?"

"He's probaly just skipping. Max told me he does that sometimes," Night cut in. _What?_

"Oh, okay," Lissa seemed pleased by that answer and walked away.

I looked back at Night. Why did he say that?

"You looked pretty freaked. You don't know where he is, do you? The first floor boys bathroom. Hide in the girls bathroom while everyone's changing classes, then when everyone's in class go to the boys. There's a window in there that's pretty easy to get out of. If you go around to the edge of the woods, you can spot a trail. It leads to the road you take to walk home," he said.

"Wha. . ."

"Just go," Dani said.

"The bells about to ring. You should go," said Ash.

"Um, okay. Bye, Sam," I said, bewildered. I figured I should go find Fang and figure out what was up with them later.

I got up, dumped my tray and left the lunchroom when the teacher wasn't looking.

The bathrooms were just a couple hallways away and I practically ran to get to them before the bell rang and kids started pouring into the hallways. I pushed open the swinging door just as the bell rang and quickly locked my self in a stall and put my feet up on the toilet.

A couple girls walked in and stopped to look in the mirror.

"So, that new guy Nick isn't here today, is he?" One of them said. Oh, come on.

"Nah, I haven't seen him. It's a shame, he's such good eye-candy," said another one. Eye candy? Seriously?

"I know, but I think Lissa and him are sort of a thing," said a third one.

"All the cute guys are taken these days. Lissa's got Nick, Sam seems like he's going out with Nick's sister Mandy or whatever her name is, Drew's with Lindsey, and Jay and Night are just off limits," said the first one. It's _Max_ people. Max.

"How are Jay and Night off limits?" asked the third one.

"Well, they're always hanging around with their sisters, Dani and Ash. And I know this sounds weird cause they're related, but I've sensed something between Dani and Night. They just seem so touchy-feely." I actually had sensed that, too. I've seen Dani and Night hug a couple times in just 2 days.

The bell rang again.

"Shit, we're late!" said the first one and they all hurried out.

I waited a couple minutes both to make sure the hallway was clear and to clear my head.

Okay, it was almost impossible for him to have gotten snatched. Fang is definitely not an easy person to kidnap. He would have made noise, would have fought. Someone would have heard him and taken notice.

Now I was somewhat rational.

I poked my head out the door. The hallway was deserted. I came out and went into the boys bathroom.

AND ALMOST PASSED OUT.

Are the janitors afraid to come in here or something? It smelled ungodly. I had to pull my shirt up over my nose.

I quickly found the window, which was over one of the toilets. I stepped onto the back of it and opened the window. Grabbing ahold of the sill, I heaved my self up so that my head was outside and my stomach was resting on the window.

The door of the bathroom swung open. Luckily, I was in a stall and had locked the door. See, I'm not completely insane.

I heard the familiar sound of the headhunter grumbling to himself before he came over to _my_ stall and tried to open it.

"Damn kids. Think it's funny to lock stalls so other people can't get in. Little shits," he grumbled to himself. I had remained dead still since he came in. I didn't want to see what would happen if he caught me.

He went over to the stall right next to mine and opened it. He sat down and, just, it was sooooooo disgusting. I'm scarred for life.

While he was, occupied elsewhere, I took the time to try my escape. I figured I would just heave myself through the window as fast as I could and and make a run for it. That way if he did hear me, I'd be gone before he could get up and, ahem, clean himself then get my stall door open.

So, I heaved, and away I went. Through, through, through, the window.

And then. . . . . .

I stopped.

The string on the blinds of the window had wrapped around my ankle without any sign of letting go.

So there I was. Hanging limply over the side of the school. Listening to a middle-aged man take a dump.

It was horrible. He was grunting. It sounded like a gorilla having an orgasm. And it smelled so bad. I was outside in the fresh air, and I could still smell it.

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

And then, right when I couldn't take anymore, the string broke.

It's a miracle!

Shit.

He heard me hit the ground.

All I heard was a lot of noise, then what sounded like Pruitt falling down and a splash. Note to self: crack up later.

Now, to find Fang.

* * *

I know my last chapter was short, but I hope I made it up to you!

Now to play a game of Where's Fango?

Hope ya'll liked this chapter. I did.

R&R?!


	4. Lost Is Found and Suspicions Created

Hey!!!! Glad you guys liked the last chapter. I know chapter 2 was really short, but I hope chapter 3 sorta-kinda made up for it.

Thanks for the reviews, also.

You know how I told you about it snowing where I live? Well, the day after I had no school, we had a 2-hour delay. My bus almost crashed. Which led me to a very odd thought.

Worst Case Senario: The bus spins out and goes into a ditch. It's smashed on the side where the door is. The back emergency exit door is somehow smashed in also, and you can't get out that way. The gas is leaking and the bus is going to blow up in a couple minutes, but the tow-truck person is tied up with another bus who spun out. The only way out is through the teensy-weensy windows. Remember: TEENSY-WEENSY WINDOWS.

How are the fat kids gonna get out?

I consider that a valid question.

So, I was in school and I lost my notebook in first period. At the end of the day some random guy I had never seen before and didn't even know came up to me, gave me my notebook, and walked away without saying a word.

WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!

I opened up my notebook and one the first page he had written (well, I'm guessing it was him):

'You finally get your harriers then.................BOOM.

Nubtub.'

HUH?!?!?!?!

Can someone please tell me how the Fnick someone can even comprehend that?!

Most of the time, weird things don't happen to me. I have to find humor in the most simple and insignificant things. But this? It's just too good to pass up. I had to tell _somebody_.

So, help? Is it like, code or something? Does it mean, 'THE GODS HAVE SUMMONED YOU...............INFIDEL ' in some random and stupid language that no one has ever heard of?

I'm dwelling too much on this. My heads going to explode. I'm going to make a really big deal out of this, and it's going to turn into my life-long quest to find this random guy and ask him why he would write that. No one will want to be in my company because it will be all I talk about and I will constantly mutter 'You finally get your harriers straight then............BOOM. Nubtub.' over and over to myself. Someone will eventually call the men in white and I will be put in a straight jacket and diagnosed as mentally insane and schizophrenic. I will eventually die of an over-dose of electric shock therapy.

I apologize for that last paragraph. It was uncalled-for, odd, and slightly depressing. Just ignore it.

In other news:

My transporting pen has found it's first cousin once removed! To UNDERLANDERfromtheOVERLAND: My pen says it misses your pen. Can't wait for the next family reunion. Next time they have got to remember to keep Granny out of the the ink-but-her-dementia-thinks-it's-tequila.

And, on to the story!

* * *

So I figured I'd check the house first. I ran all the way to Anne's.

Let's hear a round of applause for that bird-kid endurance, eh?

Night didn't lie, the trail in the woods wasn't hard to find and it did lead to the road we took to walk home.

I burst through the door of Anne's house without even stopping. I went into the kitchen, but unfortunately there was not a mutant to be found.

Just as I was turning around to go check upstairs, someone grabbed my arm. I swung around ready to fight, the adrenaline already rushing through my system to find . . .

Fang.

"Max, what are you doing here?"

That did it.

"You asshole!" I yelled and pushed him as hard as I could.

Of course, he pushed me back and I almost ran into the countertop.

"What's your problem?"

"What's _my_ problem? You almost gave me a heart attack! I didn't know where you were! Why the hell are _you_ here?" I yelled at him.

"How'd you know I was gone?"

"That girl, Linda or Lissa or whatever, asked why you weren't in school and you didn't answer my question."

"They might come back."

"Wha. . .?" then it dawned on me. "You wanted to be here when they came back. You wanted to catch them."

He shrugged.

"Well your a bigger idiot than I thought!"

"What?" he asked.

"Yeah, Fang? Suppose they _did_ come back. Emphasis on _they_. They'd obviously bring more than one! And what were you going to do? Fang, you can hold your own against a couple pretty well, but you against however many they would bring? Last time I checked, that's not very good odds. And what were you planning to do when me and the flock were waiting outside the school for you so we could walk back to Anne's, huh? You didn't think tis through, did you?"

He seemed to ponder this and obviously didn't like what he came up with because he changed the subject.

"How'd you sneak out?" he asked.

"I'd rather not discuss it."

Thankfully, he dropped it after that.

"Come on," I told him.

"Where?"

"Back to school."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously. The flock's gonna be worried when they realize we're not in school."

He reluctantly followed me out the door. We walked back to school in complete silence.

Excuse me. Complete, awkard silence. That is until I went to turn off back onto the trail.

"Where are you going?" he stopped and looked at me like I was crazy.

"Just come on. Night told me about this trail. It leads to the school."

When we did come back around to the school, I think Fang finally realized how I had snuck out. Maybe it was the wide-open window to the boys bathroom complete with the snapped string to the blinds. Maybe it was the way the ground was flattened under the window from where I fell. Maybe it was how my face turned bright red when said window came into view. Maybe it was all three of those things put together.

"You snuck out the boy's bathroom window?"

"Maybe."

He just looked at me. He was gonna laugh. He was gonna crack up in T-9. . .8 . . .7 . . .6 . . .5 . . .4 . . .3 . . .2 . . .1 . . .

He threw his head back and laughed. I so called that.

"Alright, alright. It's so funny. Ha ha. You can stop now," I said in a monotone. He just kept laughing.

"Shut up!" I said a little louder. He stopped laughing with difficulty.

"How are we gonna get back in?"

Oh. I hadn't thought of that.

"Good question," I responded.

"You don't know the answer, do you?"

"Nope."

"Well then, we tried." He turned around and had taken 2 steps before I grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him back to me.

"Uh-uh. I don't know where you think you're going. We're getting in that damn school, whether you like it or not. Give me a boost."

"Are you serious? We're gonna climb in that window?"

"How else are we gonna get in?"

"Throught the front door?" Yeah, right. Like it's that simple.

"The headhunter might see us. Well, the headhunter might have someone monitoring the boy's bathroom now also. . . We're SOL."

"Why would he have someone monitoring the boy's bathroom?"

"Um, just a hunch? Now give me a boost."

Turns out getting out of a tiny window is easier than getting _in_ a tiny window. Curse you, Rapunzel's prince, for making it look so easy.

You know how I said walking in the front door wasn't so simple? Apparently, it was that simple.

After the window-blowout Fang somehow convinced me to try the front door. No one was in the front hallway, we got five steps in and the bell rang. Then we just blended in and went to our last period class.

Stupid Fang for being right.

When we were walking home I was telling the kids what had happened, excluding the part about why Fang was home because Dani, Ash, Night, and Jay walk the same way home with us.

"Why didn't you just wait outside the school for us?" Nudge pointed out.

Stupid logic for making sense.

The Harrington Crew, as JJ calls them when she doesn't feel like wasting time saying all their names (their mom's last name is Harrington), were acting perfectly normal. Like nothing happened. As if they didn't suddenly go all freaky know-all Oracle on me in the lunchroom.

I missed the beginning of the their conversation due to my spacing-out, but I caught the end of it.

"Well, fuck you too, Ash," said Dani.

"When and where," Ash said back.

"And there, with three words, you have confirmed my long-termed suspicions about your sexual preferences," Dani replied.

"What?" Ash asked.

"I always thought you were a lesbian. Let me guess, your the guy, right? It makes total sense. You never were very girly and never even showed much interest in men. Don't worry, we still love and support you."

"I'm leaving," Ash said and turned away.

"Wait, Ash! I'm sorry. If you come back, I guess . . . I don't mind if you fantasize about me. It's not as if you don't already."

"Screw you, Dani," Ash threw back over her shoulder.

"Exactly! You know you want to!" Dani said as she started to jog to catch her.

"Is that why you guys have always been so close?" Jay yelled after them.

They both stopped where they were.

"Oh, nice knowing you. You're gonna _die_," Night muttered.

"_What_?" Dani said, her voice dangerously low. Jay started to slowly back up with his hands up in the international 'woah, Nelly' gesture.

"Jay, come here," Ash said in an unnaturally calm voice.

"No," Jay said.

"Jay, front and center," Dani said.

"Uh-uh."

"_JAY!_" Dani and Ash yelled at the same time. It was really creepy.

"Get away from me!" Jay yelled as they started to run after him. Jay can run pretty fast, actually. Dani and Ash were at the same speed for a little bit, but then Dani started to _really_ run. And I mean _run._ Like, abnormally fast. Faster than a fourteen year-old girl. As fast as me. Maybe faster. She caught up to Jay in less than 10 seconds and tackled him.

"Take it back!" Dani yelled as she straddled his wriggling body and punched him in the throat.

And that is how we left them. The flock and Night just kept on walking right past Dani and Ash beating the shit out of Jay in the middle of the road.

I looked at Night. "Shouldn't you be stopping them or something?"

"Jay has a huge mouth. He needs to get beat up every once in a while to be reminded of his place. Dani and Ash have anger management problems. They need to beat somebody up every once in a while to get it out of their systems. If you haven't noticed yet, I'm the only sane one in this family. I keep it that way by not getting involved in their insanity."

"Ah, I see."

So, get this. Their house is like, 3 minutes before Anne's. Down a road I had never noticed before. It makes sense, though. I still didn't know it was there until Night disappeared into the trees and I really looked for it.

* * *

I couldn't sleep again that night. There was just a lot on my mind. Let me make a handy-dandy little list for you:

1) Who raided our house

2) If it was Ari, why

3) Sam

4) The Harrington Clan

Is it just me, or are they weirdly weird? I mean, there's normal-people weird, then there's people-like-me weird.

And they are both.

I mean, what was up with lunch today?

And the way Dani ran? I've never heard of a fourteen year-old _normal _girl that can run faster than me. It's impossible. I can run as fast, most-likely faster, than any grown man in the best shape of his life.

I just can't seem to forget the way Dani's big, light blue eyes seemed to glow as they bored into me when she told me to go at lunch.

My last coherent thought before I fell asleep was, "Weren't her eyes green yesterday?"

* * *

She didn't come out again tonight. Still, my team stayed out all night even though Sector 1 said she was asleep.

She'll come out eventually.

And when she does, we'll be waiting for her.

We'll always be waiting.

* * *

I had a dream about random-nubtub guy.

I was in the school hallway, at my locker preparing to go home. It was as usual, kids swarming about, gossiping about nonsense, people talking smack to start some drama so they had something to talk about. Then everyone disappeared. I was alone in the hallway except for random-nubtub guy in a black coat gliding towards me. Like, gliding. As in, it seemed like he was floating and didn't have any feet. Yes, it was as creepy as it sounds.

He stopped right in front of me and handed me a notebook. I opened it up, and on the first page it read,

'You finally get your harriers then...............BOOM.

Nubtub.

YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN.'

Not only did it say the 'YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN' but the random-nubtub guy said 'Ello, Govna. YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN' in the most _awesome_ and epic British accent I have ever heard in my life.

Then Tyler texted me at 5:33 in the morning to tell me school was closed again cause it snowed again last night and woke me up. _He will pay._

But how giddytacular is that?!

You don't get much more epic than that.

I was the most giddy person in the world when I had that dream.

Definitely top five best dreams of my life.

I just thought you would like to bask also in my giddytastic light.

R&R.

(I don't know if you noticed, but I have taken to putting giddy into any possible word. I suggest it. Just using the word giddy makes me giddy)

BAZINGA.

I don't know if you watch The Big Bang Theory, but that is my second new catch-phrase (my first one's giddy). Thank you, Sheldon.


End file.
